Not Broken, Just Bent.

1) Production people who do not completely collect files for output, assuming that anyone else who wants to use the files they've worked on will have the same networking ability they have.
(ie, when they go to collect their files for output, their nifty machines pull from the server. When I go to collect their files for output, I have to repair every bleeping link, that is, after I hunt the damned links down on the server I only have web-access to.)

2) Clients who insist on sending me changes to proofs That Haven't Gone Out Yet.

3) Clients who only tell me after the 8 different language versions are made that they want the little sign left aligned to the product, requiring me to go in and re-save all bloody 8 images, and update all 8 quark docs, and re-output all 8 bloody pdfs.
This only really pisses me off, because when this project actually gets executed in a real-life situation, we'll be lucky if the little sign goes up at all, never mind worring about how it aligns to the product.

4) Clients who are in such a damn hurry to have Their project be my top priority with the line "oh, it's not hard, it shouldn't take you that long."
Well you know what? I'm a damn busy person with 26 open projects on my plate. And since you're not sitting in my chair, who are you to tell me what is and isn't hard?
And while it might be true that your little 30 minute project won't take me that long, you have to figure:
it's 30 min for the design,
30 min to hunt you down to get you to proof it,
60 min for you to actually get around to proofing it,
15 min for me to make changes,
another 30 min for you to proof it again,
30ish min for me to build it for output,
15 min me writing up the specs for the printer,
15 min on the phone with the printer explaining the specs, because they're so convoluted,
30 min on the phone trying to talk the printer down off the ceiling when I give them the shipping specs
30 min on the phone with customs and FedEx trying to get it released through the bloody boarder,
and an adverage of 45 min for me on SAP trying to get your quick (5.5 hour) little project paid for.

My job title says "Studio Artist." Nothing about logistics, accounting, or project freaking management.

5) Clients who refuse to give me zipcodes and phone numbers, though I've told them half a dozen times *I can't ship their crap* if they don't give me these bits of information.
I don't give two flying fucks if your little south american country is too small to even have bloody zipcodes, just give me *Some* Number to make the FedEx God happy, OK?



This rant brought to you by the letter C, the number 2, and my enforced vacation next week, before which I have to wrap the majority of the crap up.

- K.